A WOMAN'S EXPERIENCE

 

"I have watched the writing many times and have wondered if my experience would add anything to your records that you would find interesting.

 

"I am a woman. I have been here many years. I was born and brought up on the Atlantic coast, and moved to one of your western states when I was married. But that was many years ago. The year was 1840. I lived a lonely life on a farm: had many hardships; raised a family; and finally left my weary existence at the age of 68. I was never a church member, although brought up by Puritan parents. In coming into the western country I brought none of that teaching with me, however. In some ways I think I would have been happier if I had, for I would at least have been looking forward to something after death. As it was, I was so weary of life, I looked forward to peace and nothingness. I was ready to give up everything, there was so little I cared for.

 

"When I finally realized that death had not ended my existence, I did not know what to make of it. I could see or hear nothing. But I knew I was alive and that I had left my earthly body. I was distracted. For I felt that now I could not rid myself of life, no matter how much I suffered, or how weary I was. But I soon found that I was not suffering, except from loneliness, and after a time I began to wonder what it all meant. Surely there was something I had failed to understand. I certainly was not meant to pass through eternity in this lonely condition. Somewhere, somehow, I would meet some one in like condition, and then we could talk it over and try to arrive at some understanding.

 

"By good fortune my mind was so undeveloped at that time that I did not have very bright reasoning powers, so time itself did not seem so long as it might. But I did finally reason that if I met some one and wanted to talk, I would have to make this person understand by new means. It seems that this thought of itself brought some light and understanding. For it was not long before I was aware that I was beginning to see and hear faintly. It was a delight, you may be sure, and you on earth can never conceive the joy I experienced when I first realized that some one was trying to talk with me. Of course it was not long then until I was taught how to use my spirit powers, and soon I was able to take up my new life. In contrast with my old one anything would have brought joy. But if I could make you comprehend even one small portion of the reality, you would still be far from realizing my full happiness.